i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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