jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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