Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
