If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
