that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
