Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
