none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
