i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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