but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
