I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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