Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
