so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
