just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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