so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
