You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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