I CAN MOONWALK!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
