Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
