You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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