Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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