Define "chronic" masturbator.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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