He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
