His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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