How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
