It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
even my farts smell like vagina
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
