Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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