Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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