i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
