No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
