I want to have your abortion
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
