After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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