Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can text with my tongue
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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