Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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