Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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