You're my little dorito
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
