i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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