Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
