I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
