you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
