it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
