I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
