I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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