Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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