I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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