Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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