I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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