Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
