so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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