Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
