Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
