Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
